|Troll cat, high on drugs, admits his opinion of your book.|
I wouldn't trust this person to write a shopping list.
If I wanted an enema, I would go to the doctor.
After reading this book, I need medical marijuana.
(The following is about a famous series)
This book is perfect for retarded tweens.
My cat buried a better book in the litter box.
(And my personal favorite)
One suspects that the entire editing staff was away on a three-year drunk-fest...