Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Pluto is still a planet according to Apple Maps

Denver Colorado is now on the planet Pluto, according to Apple Maps.
What is the quickest way to make sure that you make a complete mess of a project? Hire absolutely no one who has any experience with the type of project in question.

And that is exactly what the project chiefs behind Apple Maps did. They treated a mapping project as if it was just a collection of data points, and as a result you could find yourself...well, you know where.

I imagine that Apple Maps thinks that Pluto is still a planet, and is located at the intersection of Colfax and Broadway in Denver, Colorado. I dare you to use Apple Maps to prove me wrong.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Replacements for the replacement refs

Ok, let's be clear about something up front--I am not a big football fan. But even I must admit that the NFL replacement refs are not up to the task. So given the fact that it is unlikely that we will get the regular officials back soon--because someone is just too d*** cheap to pay them--I now present three replacements (actually four) for the replacement zebras. 
A rotten tomato would make a better replacement.
First up is a rotten tomato. We already getting rotten calls, so we just as well go with a rotten piece of fruit (or is it a vegetable--I am never sure; but then again, either are these second-string refs).

Pee Wee Herman knows more about football.
Obviously, price is an issue and a bigger priority than getting the regular refs back. So let's try some out of work actors--I understand that Pee Wee Herman is willing to work cheap. Plus he is an actor--surely he can act more like a ref than the foot locker crew. 

Yes, my cats sleep though the football games--but they still would be better. 
Seriously. Yes, my cats find football utterly boring, and they do not know the rules. But after watching this round of misfits wearing zebra shirts and having no clue, wouldn't you sooner trust my cats to make better calls. I don't know about you, but my cats make better calls in their litter box than the replacement refs do.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Free for today only

Shakespeare's Monkey
Today (well technically until Friday September 14, 2012), you can get a free copy of my ebook Shakespeare's Monkey when you enter coupon code EX49A at the checkout. Why free today? Well, one of the stories contained in this volume was based on 9/11--apologizes to the dozen people that I blended together to create the characters (it was creative license)--and today is as good of a day to share that piece of fiction as any other.