Sunday, October 23, 2011

Porn v Big Bang Blackboards

Are you aware that there are things written on blackboards in the background of some porn films?

Are you aware that there is a blog dedicated to checking the facts written on such blackboards for accuracy and grade level?

You didn't. And you didn't. Me, neither.

Yeah, we are concerned about what is written on the blackboard.
Isn't this something that like good acting and scripts does not apply to pornographic material?

Come to think of it, I am not sure that good acting and scripts apply to most of the media that we are subjected to. Especially the television commericals.

Maybe this blackboard actually says something brilliant.
Seriously, the only blackboards I pay any attention to are the ones on The Big Bang Theory. And that is only because they call attention to them. I don't understand them...of course, I do not think that I am supposed to.

Which brings me to a theory, if the blackboard is covered with stupid foundational math, one will see some tits. And if it is covered with stuff that you need advanced math to understand, no one is getting laid.

But you already knew this theory, didn't you?

Anyway, a big thanks to the Bloggess for bringing the Blackboards in Porn blog to my attention. Of course, if you would like to thank her, go read her about her encounter with a sasquatch. It is funnier than any porn blackboard you will ever read.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

You could be a bomb

Helping your child understand why he may pose a threat to National Security.
Here is a book that we all need---My First Cavity Search. I am not sure who came up with the idea, but my hat is off to you. I would have no idea how to explain to a child why they must be searched, and incidents of Homeland Security and TSA (Transportation Security Administration) insisting that a child needed a patdown have occurred. I imagine it is only a matter of time before some child is cavity searched---after all, you can pack a lot of explosives into a six year-old.

Just the other day, some poor cancer survivor failed a screening, and needed to be patted down. And no, the TSA did not want to see her Device Identification Card; after all, we know that the terrorists are packing explosives into breast implants and making up fake DICs.

The sad part is that tests conducted on the TSA have proven that if you are serious about getting weapons and bombs through security, you can. My current theory is that the TSA is too focused on petty harrassment, squeezing private parts, and generally being racist to do much good.

Of course, I probably do not have to worry about this. With the amount of meds I would need to be able to fly, the plane would never leave the ground. We all know that migraines are a sign that you have a bomb planted in your brain. Either that, or the TSA will decide that all journalists, bloggers, reporters, writers, cartoonists, and other media people are on the no-fly list. After all, if you print something bad about the TSA or Homeland Security, you are obviously a terrorist.