Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Replacements for the replacement refs

Ok, let's be clear about something up front--I am not a big football fan. But even I must admit that the NFL replacement refs are not up to the task. So given the fact that it is unlikely that we will get the regular officials back soon--because someone is just too d*** cheap to pay them--I now present three replacements (actually four) for the replacement zebras. 
A rotten tomato would make a better replacement.
First up is a rotten tomato. We already getting rotten calls, so we just as well go with a rotten piece of fruit (or is it a vegetable--I am never sure; but then again, either are these second-string refs).

Pee Wee Herman knows more about football.
Obviously, price is an issue and a bigger priority than getting the regular refs back. So let's try some out of work actors--I understand that Pee Wee Herman is willing to work cheap. Plus he is an actor--surely he can act more like a ref than the foot locker crew. 

Yes, my cats sleep though the football games--but they still would be better. 
Seriously. Yes, my cats find football utterly boring, and they do not know the rules. But after watching this round of misfits wearing zebra shirts and having no clue, wouldn't you sooner trust my cats to make better calls. I don't know about you, but my cats make better calls in their litter box than the replacement refs do.

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